Finding My True Purpose
Interview. Process. File. Interview. Process. File. The repetition starts to weigh more and more everyday. At this point, I have basically mastered how to plaster a smile on my face and become a processing robot in my office until 5 o'clock. I would spend any free time I have writing, drawing, and researching the things that I love. I feel like a child sneaking around in the office just to have a moment with my guilty pleasure. Besides that, the happiest I am throughout the week is when I am walking to my car in the evening knowing I am free until tomorrow. Free to go home to my paradise with my family and continue to write, draw, and once again, research the things that I love.
Now, please don't get me wrong. I have a strong appreciation for my day job and I am indeed grateful. We help many people each and everyday. I work with people who dreamed of working in this field and it is internally satisfying to them. I would often wonder, "why doesn't my heart flutter like that about work?"
There is constantly a feeling of "something missing" in my life. I have supportive friends and family. I am blessed to have an amazing daughter and husband. I am employed and get paid pretty decent. I have my essential material needs. What is not being fulfilled? What keeps tugging away at my heart? Why do I feel like I am floating through life aimlessly?
I need to find my true purpose in life and fulfill it. That constant aching inside is because I am following the stable and generic pathway in life. I was sucked off of my road to fulfillment and placed somewhere that does not bring me complete internal happiness. Every road is not for everyone. Many people get lost throughout life for many different reasons (it could be for money, people, and etc.) and they never make it back to accomplishing what they are here to do.
Call me crazy, but I believe that we are all given a purpose to fulfill in life. Is that not why we each are gifted with certain talents and abilities that everyone does not have? I am a creator. From the very first chapter of my life, I had the desire to create. It has always been so natural to me. I am also a very free spirit by nature. When I close my eyes and imagine what my "perfect" life would be like, I picture myself happily married with children and we're... free. I picture us traveling all of the nooks and crannies of this beautiful earth and laughing and I am just taking in the beauty of life. I picture myself helping people all over the world in many different ways, including to follow their dreams. I could vividly see myself writing constantly about our adventures and taking photographs and creating beautiful art in front of the sunset. I picture us sitting under the stars and just thanking God for all of his many blessings.
This vision is so clear I could feel it. Tiny chills rush throughout my body as I think about it. This repetitive daydream has given me light on my purpose in life. I have to follow it and fulfill my purpose. Everyone has the right and needs to be actively pursuing their purpose in life. I am craving for that satisfaction. I am here to create, to help, to be a mom, to be a boss, to be a wife, to be a great friend, to be a great family member, and to be free of the black and white strategic "this is how you need to live" game plan of life. Do not tell me to be realistic. Do not persuade me to follow a career plan that does not fulfill my needs. I have found my true purpose.
Have you found yours?