Thoughtful Thursday: Five Things to Consider Before Saying "I Do."
This upcoming Monday marks the second anniversary of my beautiful union with my husband, James. The million dollar question is always, "how would you describe marriage thus far?" Well, it is exciting, fun, challenging, new, emotional, and overall a learning experience. Marriage is indeed a full time job that requires constant attention and constant work and you have to be very open to change and new experiences. Have you ever heard of the saying, "working a job that you love does not feel like work at all?" That is exactly how marriage should be. It should be a job that requires time and energy but you love every moment of it.
We don't believe in the "D" word. The big, fat, and ugly "D" word that is thrown around way too often these days. D stands for divorce, by the way. I believe that divorce is only an option for extreme situations such as abuse or infidelity. When you say I do, you become a team and you make a promise to work through life together and create an unbreakable bond and become one. That is why it is very crucial to really understand that before you make those vows at the alter. Too many couples float down the aisle on love without a in depth understanding on the meaning of marriage and the next thing you know, papers are being signed. So if you're thinking about marriage in the future, here are the top five things you should consider before saying...
Finances are the number one reason people divorce. It is extremely important to come together and talk finances, careers, and credit prior to making that step. Not only is your spouse your life partner, but they are also your business partner. You want to make sure you are on the same path and have a general overview of your finances as well as debt before you make that commitment.
Personal Values & Beliefs
Marriage can become a sticky situation, especially if children are involved, if you are not understanding of the others values and beliefs. Have that discussion about religion and values and come to a mutual agreement. Combine your personal beliefs to formulate your own family values. What will be allowed in your home? What religion will you serve? Two cannot walk together unless they agree.
Some are big family oriented people and some are not. Some can deal with in-laws frequently visiting and others not so much. Have the conversation. You need to have a mutual understanding before sealing the deal and be open to change if you're on opposite sides of the spectrum. This can be a big deal breaker. How often will you visit family? Will we host big family events? Are there any in-law limitations? Will we have children? Whatever it may be regarding family, it should be discussed.
I Do = Forever. Before you promise someone forever, put your goals on front street. You have to be sure your life goals coincide with your partner. Really get a good understanding of what the other want out of life and how they plan to accomplish it. Make sure your goals are clear to them as well. Then, try creating a team goal list and how you plan to work together. Turn my goals into our goals. Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses and start planning your future together.
Let's just be honest... intimacy is a huge part of marriage. Intimacy within a marriage unit should be a frequent and wonderful experience between both people. Your partner have to be willing to surrender themselves to you and you have to surrender yourself to them. Agree to keep the flame going in your marriage. Lack of intimacy could be a huge deal breaker. We all want to constantly feel loved, and especially by your spouse. Sit down and have the conversation.
There are many things that should be discussed and considered prior to marriage. It is a major step! Saying I do is committing to that person no matter what and as humans, we change. We all evolve over time so you have to be willing to accept change and be open to change. Are you willing to do that? Decide before you commit.
I hope you enjoyed this post! #HappyThoughtfulThursday! Love you!
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