When The Good Girl Goes Bad: Why It Never Works

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We are all familiar with the scenario. The story line is pretty much the same. Usually, there's a girl with a heart as pure as a newborn who falls in love with "the one." All day she envisions the two of them intertwining souls and every other mushy scenario you could think of. Whenever she catches his mysterious eyes watching her, her soul erupts with flames and she melts. It is all such a perfect love story. She is Rose and he is her Jack. In her mind, they are definitely looking at marriage, three little ones, and a cute house dog. She is willing to do whatever and whenever for her "soulmate" and her loyalty is nothing less than 100%. She has never felt more special.

To make a long story short, he was a dirty dog. I mean lies, cheating, you know-- a very messy situation. In a matter of time, her heart goes from fluttering to shattered. It feels like her whole world has been ripped apart. The love she once had slowly turned into hatred. The fire she once felt started to rapidly cool and ice over. Every night, her beautiful silk pillow turned into the bucket for her tears. One day, she was just fed up. She was tired of crying and tired of replaying what happened in her head. She was tired of being the good girl who gets taken advantage of.

No longer will she wear her heart on her sleeve and take any man that comes into her life seriously. The next man will only break her heart like the last, so why put her all into it? She is angry and her soul is heavy. She becomes disgusted at the thought of being so loyal and good only for a man to practically spit in her face. "Never again" is the promise she made. She took her loyalty, heart, and unfortunately, morals, and put them in a bag and pushed them to the side. The good girl days for her are over.

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You see, the story is all too familiar. Good girl gets hurt + good girl goes bad + bad girl hurts others + bad girl hurts self = bad girl is still empty. It never works.

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To all of my newly found "bad girls", I have a few words of advice:

Completely changing yourself for the worst and portraying a bad girl lifestyle to mask the pain is the perfect equation for disaster. Why?

  1. You were never a bad girl to begin with. It is just not in your make-up, doll. You are a good girl and you naturally possess the values that are rare to find. Never lose yourself over a heart-break.
  2. Being bad entitles you to do some things that jeopardizes your image. In the moment, it temporarily heals the pain but in the long run it will only make things worst.
  3. You will find that most of your decisions are made out of vengeance. Understand that you will forever have to live with those decisions. Maintain your morals.
  4. Hurt never beats hurt. Bad girls are heart-breakers and turn so many good men just as cold as they are. You're only hurting society and feeding into the cycle.
  5. In the end, you're still bitter. After all the alcohol is gone, the wild nights are over, and the men have disappeared, you are still left with yourself and the pain in your heart that was never properly healed.

Heart-breaks happen to the best of us. Do not let it be your reasoning for throwing all of your amazing traits out of the window. If anything, use it to make you better. It is his lost. Stop saying "F*#% all men, they are all the same," because they are definitely not. There is someone out there who will appreciate and respect a good girl like you. The heart heals with time. You have to accept what happened and move on with life with your dignity still in tact. Remaining true to yourself is the real way to win. If you're too focused on being bad and vengeful, you just may miss your good thing.

Huge shout out to my good girls!

As always,

essig